"‎Melissa, I’m gonna poop in your coffee tomorrow. Specifically, I’ll steep my poop in the filter, and it’ll look and smell like coffee, because I’ll make sure it does, and you’ll drink it all, and you’ll say, ‘Marshal, that was okay but I’ve had better’ and I will say ‘I know, because that was my poop’ and you will go and look in the coffee maker and there will be a nug of poop there, because it was my poop." - Marshal